Episode Forty-Four: The Past Affair
Jackie and Nikolai stood outside of the door to his childhood home. Despite its small, compact form, the house seemed to tower over both of them. Jackie kicked some salt beneath her shoes and squeezed Nikolai’s hand. “Nervous?” he asked.
“Understatement of the year,” Jackie muttered.
Nikolai squeezed her hand back and knocked on the door. Jackie released his grip. A short, overweight woman quickly answered the door. A worn oven mitt decorated to look like a cat puppet sat on one of her hands, and a stained, white apron was wrapped around her waist. Nikolai swept his mother into his arms and spun her around once before setting her down. They exchanged quick greetings and terms of endearment in Russian before Nikolai switched back to his English tongue.
“And this is my partner, Jaclyn Grier,” Nikolai said.
Jackie shook Nikolai mother’s hand. “It’s a pleasure, Mrs. Kuryakin.”
“Goodness,” she replied, slapping Jackie’s back with her oven mitt. “My sons’ friends are always so tall and beautiful. You can call me Anya, dear.”
Jackie smiled. “And you can call me Jackie – or whatever you want, really.”
“Oh, I’ll probably forget in a few minutes anyway,” Anya replied, shooing her son and Jackie into her home. “But come in and sit down.”
“Mother, we really should start bringing our things in,” Nikolai said, “before it gets too cold.”
Anya rolled her eyes and nudged Jackie. “We were worried about this one, you know,” she said.
“Mother,” Nikolai said with a sigh.
“Bring in your fancy things,” Anya replied, waving her arms in exasperation. “I will just slave over the stove and make dinner despite the fact that I’ve barely met the beautiful, young woman I will be feeding.”
“You can meet her over dinner,” Nikolai replied.
“Yes, I would not want your dainty fingertips to get cold,” his mother said as she walked into the kitchen. She peeked back around the corner and said, “I like your sweater.”
“Thank you,” Nikolai replied with a huff.
Nikolai mouthed “Sorry,” to Jackie as they headed back outside.
Jackie said, “I love your mom.”
“That’s just because she has not made fun on you yet,” Nikolai replied, opening up the trunk. He paused before adding, “And I suppose she probably will not. She tends to pick only on her offspring and not so much her offspring’s companions.”
“Which means I’m going to have a very good time,” Jackie said with a grin.
The pair moved their suitcases into Nikolai’s small bedroom, and Jackie quickly began observing his décor. “Have you changed this room since birth?” Jackie asked, looking at the baby blue walls and clouds painted near the top.
“Not much,” Nikolai said. “I went to boarding school early, so I liked my room to feel like home when I got back to it.”
He adjusted a picture on his dresser, and he looked at teenaged version of himself with his sister smiling at him. He smiled back.
Jackie asked, “I get the top bunk?”
“All yours,” Nikolai said.
Jackie climbed up and draped herself across the top bunk. “Man, I wanted bunk beds so badly when I was a kid. My plan was to sleep on the top bunk and put all my shit on the bottom. I’m so jealous. At least I get to try it out now.”
“I always enjoyed having one,” Nikolai replied. “My sister used to sleep in my room a lot when she was scared.”
“Always the hero,” Jackie said, smiling at Nikolai from the top bunk.
Nikolai returned the smile.
They heard the front door slam shut and voices coming from the kitchen. “My brother is probably home,” Nikolai said. “Brace yourself.”
“I am braced,” Jackie said. “Does he live with your mom to help take care of her?”
“Yes,” Nikolai replied.
“That’s very sweet,” Jackie said.
“Sure,” Nikolai replied. “But he also gets all of his meals made, his clothes washed, and he gets to hear her build him up every morning. It must be nice to have that support right there.”
“It’s still sweet,” Jackie said, turning onto her back.
“Hey faggot.”
Cringing, Nikolai saw his brother standing in the doorway. His brother stood several inches shorter than him, but carried easily an extra twenty pounds of muscle that bulged out of his white t-shirt. His blond hair was stubble on the top of his head, and scrawled on his neck near his ear was a tattoo with his name, Liev, in Cyrillic.
Nikolai started counting inside of his head, trying to suppress the rage that began to boil in the tips of his fingers and behind his cheeks.
“Who’s this?” Liev asked.
“My partner,” Nikolai said.
“I thought you were queer,” Liev said. “That’s not a dude.”
“She is my partner at A.B.E.L.,” Nikolai responded.
“Hey,” Jackie said.
“Hey boobs,” Liev said. “What’s it like to work for a company that polices the world according to the highest bidder?”
“It’s pretty sweet,” Jackie said. “What’s it like to watch all the bad guys go free because of their expensive lawyers?”
Liev narrowed his eyes. Nikolai’s anger began to fade, and he smiled at Jackie. He wondered why he couldn’t have chummed with her throughout his childhood.
Liev asked, “What’s your name then?”
“Boobs,” Jackie said.
Liev frowned. “I can’t call you Boobs.”
“Why not?” Jackie asked. “It’s short for Breasts. You can call me Breasts, if you would like.”
“I am particularly fond of Bosoms myself,” Nikolai said. “It is my term of endearment for her.”
“Listen,” Liev said, “I can’t call you Boobs in front of my mom.”
“Then you better find out my name pretty quick,” Jackie said. She tapped her nose. “Dinner smells like it’ll be ready soon.”
Liev looked to Nikolai, but Nikolai just shrugged. “You are the police detective, after all,” Nikolai said.
“You’re such a loser,” Liev said.
Nikolai and Jackie laughed. They unpacked a few things and read in his bedroom until Nikolai’s mother called them for dinner. Nikolai watched as Jackie quickly bonded with his mother over the meal by being polite and offering to help with serving and the food and by humouring whatever conversation she tried to touch on.
“I suppose Nikolai has told you the family history,” Anya said.
Jackie grinned at Nikolai. “Not much, actually. He’s pretty tight-lipped about that sort of thing.”
Anya explained that Nikolai’s father passed away nearly a decade ago. He suffered a heart attack in a convenience store after one of his night shifts. He had a good standing in the police force, and he wanted all of his children to go into it. The Kuryakins were well-respected in the force. Nikolai’s older brother passed away five years ago. He was working undercover and was killed when he was found out. Anya explained that they’re still not certain how they found out that he was an undercover cop.
Then she emphasized how proud she was of her other two boys for following suit. Liev shot Nikolai a deadly look, and Jackie quickly learned that Anya either knew little or cared little about the politics behind the A.B.E.L. Corporation. Nikolai feared that Jackie would ask if Anya was scared that something would happen to him or Liev, but she held her tongue.
Liev frowned throughout most of the meal. When Anya stood up, Jackie followed suit to help her clean up the dishes. She waved her to sit back down and said, “But it is very nice to have someone around here who appreciates how much work housework is,” and she gave Liev a hard look. Liev opened his mouth, but from the kitchen Anya continued, “Careful what you say next, Liev. You would not want your date to overhear and believe that you thought all women belonged in the kitchen.”
Liev closed his mouth.
With a smile in the corner of his mouth, Nikolai said, “Your date?”
Liev tried to answer, but Anya shouted from the other room, “He’s sweet on this girl that he’s taking out later tonight.”
“How did you meet her?” Jackie asked.
“Work,” Liev said.
“She’s a cop too?” Jackie asked.
“Her child was murdered,” Anya shouted from the other room, “and Liev was put on the case.”
“Isn’t that a conflict of interest?” Jackie asked.
Liev nodded. “I’m not sure it is really much of a date. She just needs people around her so that she doesn’t think too much about what she’s been through, and I think being around her old friends just helps to remind her everything she’s lost.”
“But Liev is sweet on her,” Anya said.
Liev’s cheeks burned fiercely and he sighed, “Mom.”
“Well, if you don’t want to talk about your lady friend, tell them about the vigilante,” Anya said. She returned into the kitchen carrying small bowls of vanilla ice cream with raspberries sprinkled on top of them.
“Vigilante?” Jackie asked. She added, “Thank you,” when Anya handed her the bowl. Nikolai followed suit.
“There’s some guy running around playing cop, and it’s my case,” Liev said, digging into his ice cream. “So far he’s killed three – no, four other men that were all trying to do wrong. He killed someone trying to rob a store, someone who mugged a woman, someone else who tried to rob a store, and a pimp in the area that was known to mistreat his workers.”
“Good for the vigilante,” Anya said. “If you catch them,” she pointed at Liev with her spoon, “they go to prison and walk free in a few years – if they even go to prison in the first place. At least this way they’re going to the right place.”
Liev frowned. “I don’t believe that they’re going to the right place. What if these people were desperate for food and their only choice was robbing the store? Did they deserve to die because of they were hungry?”
Anya shrugged. “I’m sure the vigilante knows exactly what she is doing. You can’t tell me that pimp didn’t deserve to die.”
“He deserved to go to jail,” Liev said, pointing at her with his spoon.
“And why wasn’t he in jail?” Anya asked. “Oh right, he had a deal worked out with the police.”
Liev continued to frown and wiped some ice cream from his lips.
“Did you say she?” Jackie asked Anya.
Liev sighed. “She thinks the vigilante is a woman.”
“It has to be,” Anya said. “She isn’t sloppy and she isn’t in it for dramatics.”
“Mom, I’m going to go get ready for my friend,” he said, standing up. He kissed his mom’s cheek and said, “Thank you for dinner.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, patting the side of his head. “Woo this woman so you can give me some grandchildren before I drop dead.”
Liev rolled his eyes and disappeared into his bedroom. Anya knitted her fingers together and leaned forward on the table while Jackie and Nikolai continued to eat away at their ice cream. She asked, “What are your plans for when you’re here?”
“I thought Jackie and I may go Christmas shopping tomorrow,” Nikolai said. “I did not get the opportunity to pick you or Liev up something. Is there anything you would like aside from grandchildren, mother?”
“Oh, you know what I like,” Anya replied.
“No, I do not,” Nikolai said, firmly. “Is there anything you need around the house?”
Anya scoffed. “Christmas isn’t about getting things you need, Nikolai. It is about getting fun frivolous things. Find me a fun frivolous thing.”
Nikolai tried to hold back a sigh that would have sounded like Liev’s, and Jackie managed to move the conversation back to Anya’s opinion of the town’s vigilante. Nikolai glanced behind him to the hallway that led to Liev’s room. He didn’t see any movement and turned his attention back to Anya.
The two secret agents walked around the mall together. “Well, you’re going to have to pick a store sometime,” Jackie said.
“I never know what to buy anyone,” Nikolai muttered. “Especially someone like my mother who can make fun of anything.”
“Well, I don’t mind spending all day in the mall,” Jackie replied, “though my wallet may not appreciate it.”
The pair continued walking, with Nikolai’s anxiety building as he tried to find something for his mother. He turned a sharp corner down the mall’s hallways and bumped face-first into a man. The man’s parcels dropped around him, and with an apology, Nikolai helped to pick up the parcels. Jackie lingered beside Nikolai without moving to help.
“It was my fault,” the man said as Nikolai handed him his parcels. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
Nikolai smiled at the man and replied, “I certainly wasn’t looking either.” He paused as he took the man in for a moment.
He had two children – one young girl hanging off his arm and the other teenaged girl staring off into the distance with a look of disdain. But something about the man’s large smile that sat between chubby cheeks sparked familiarity in Nikolai. He tried to place him before the man said something.
“Nikolai Kuryakin?” the man asked.
“Yes?” Nikolai asked.
“It’s Alex Hutton,” the man said, shaking Nikolai’s hand. “You probably don’t recognize me, but you look great.”
“Alex?” Nikolai asked. He took in the round brown eyes and thick head of similarly coloured hair. He recognized the thick lashes and that smile – that bright cocky smile. Nikolai laughed pressed his other hand against Alex’s in the handshake. “I recognize you now.”
“I’ve gotten fat,” Alex said.
“It looks good on you,” Nikolai said. “I mean, you carry it well.” His cheeks burned.
“Tell my wife,” Alex said with a wink. “And who’s this beautiful lady with you?”
Jackie grinned. “This is my partner at work, Jaclyn Grier,” Nikolai said.
“A pleasure,” Jackie said as she shook Alex’s hand.
“All mine, I’m sure,” Alex said. “Especially after all the terrible things Nikolai’s bound to say about me as soon as I’ve walked away – which I really must be doing. I’m sorry, I’ve got to get the girls home and run a few more errands. Are you back at home for Christmas, Nikolai?”
Nikolai nodded.
“Can I give you a call? We should catch up over coffee. Or a swim. What about a swim?”
Nikolai paused and let his eyes run over Alex again. What harm could a swim do? “A swim would be great,” he replied.
“Awesome. I’ll give you a call later tonight,” Alex said. “I’m looking forward to catching up.”
“Me too,” Nikolai said.
“It was nice meeting you,” Alex said to Jackie as he started to walk away.
“You too,” Jackie said, raising her hand into a wave.
When Alex was a safe distance away, Nikolai and Jackie began walking into the opposite direction. Jackie looped her arm through Nikolai’s and leaned close. “Now who was that?”
“A friend from high school,” Nikolai said. “I went to a boarding school, but there were several kids from my area.”
“And he was one of them?”
“And he was one of them,” Nikolai replied. “We were on the swim team together, though I am not sure he has kept up with swimming at all.”
“I thought you didn’t have any friends before me, Niko,” Jackie said, her tone teasing.
“He was my first time,” Nikolai said, with the corner of his mouth turned into a smile. “I suppose I would not really call us friends. Adversaries, perhaps? We were very competitive with each other, and he often taunted and teased me. I had prescription goggles at the time and they were not particularly flattering. But the rivalry got me very excited. I liked the competition, and physically he was exactly what I wanted at the time. He was a challenge, I suppose. And I sensed that he got more out of our competition than he was willing to admit.”
“And?” Jackie asked.
“And he was making fun of me after a practice. Slowly our teammates filed out as they grew tired of him trying to antagonize me since I hardly replied. Then when we were the last ones in the locker room, I slowly approached him. He tried to talk me out of kicking his ass, and I slammed my hand on the locker next to his head. I leaned in real close as if I was going to tell him off, but I just kissed him instead.”
“And he reacted well, I suspect,” Jackie said.
“Very well,” Nikolai replied, a thin smile on his face. “It took him a moment to kiss back, but he kissed back with full force. We kept up our competitive attitude amongst our teammates and in our day-to-day life, but at night we often snuck off to be with each other. For our first time, we broke into pool and made love there.”
“And?”
“And it was fun,” Nikolai said. “Though it turns out there were security cameras and we ultimately got caught. Alex said I threw myself at him. He tried to argue rape, but the video showed clearly consensual sex. So he said I turned him gay for the day or something. I do not quite recall, but even though our teachers did not buy it, our peers did. I graduated and went to A.B.E.L. shortly after anyway.”
“So it didn’t really bother you?”
“Oh, it really bothered me,” Nikolai replied. “I got into a lot of fights and was miserable and alone. But the past is the past, and he seems friendly enough now.”
“I wasn’t aware I knew a Nikolai that didn’t hold grudges,” Jackie said.
“I made so many mistakes back then, it is hard to hold Alex’s against him. He was just trying to fit in, after all. I suspect he still is,” Nikolai said. “I am interested to see how he is doing now.”
“You mean, you’re interested to see how badly he’s doing so you can feel good about your life,” Jackie said with a grin.
“Perhaps,” Nikolai replied, trying to suppress the smile growing in the corner of his lips.
“So you two were basically fuck buddies?” Jackie asked.
“Without the actual fucking. Foreplay buddies, I suppose would be the correct term.”
“What if he just wants to get himself some sweet Russian ass again?” Jackie asked.
The blond shrugged. “Our entire relationship was composed of fighting and sexual experimentation. I would prefer sex to more fighting. And, since I am not in a relationship, maybe the exercise would make me feel better.”
“You’re gross,” Jackie said.
“Would you feel better if I did not leave you?” Nikolai asked. “I thought you might like some time to yourself to read.”
“I’ll just hang out with your mom and hear more gossip,” she said. “I really do like her, you know.”
“I am pleased,” he replied.
They walked a bit farther before Jackie asked, “So you’re really not going to hold this grudge?”
“I suppose not,” Nikolai replied. “I mean, it was terrible going through that experience, but I am not certain I would have held it together with Alex if he did come out with me. It could have just made both of our lives worse. He just thought quicker than I did and denied it. Back then, I decided that at A.B.E.L. I would not let anyone know that I preferred men so I would never have to go through that experience again.” Nikolai exhaled. “I truly hope I do not have to go through that experience again, Jackie.”
Jackie held Nikolai’s hand and squeezed it. “If you go through it again, Nikolai, you certainly won’t be alone.”
Nikolai offered Jackie a small smile, and he hoped she wouldn’t leave him. He didn’t let go of her hand as she pointed to a store to shop in.
Several days later, Nikolai stretched at the edge of the pool in the aquatic center, and he almost slipped when he saw Alex rush past him to do a cannonball into the pool. Nikolai shielded himself against the huge splash before jumping into the pool himself. When the blond surfaced, Alex raised his brows and purred, “See? I can still make a bigger splash than you.”
He tried to suppress his excitement as the old spark ran through him Nikolai huffed. “I believe you have a rather large advantage.”
The pair laughed before agreeing to race through the water. Nikolai frowned as Alex resumed to playing dirty by pulling Nikolai’s legs back in the water or trying to hold him under. But the sleek secret agent slipped out of the larger man’s grasp and let Alex’s insults wash off of him (though not before throwing a few of his own). Alex pulled himself out of the water to sit on the ledge and the public pool began to fill with others. Nikolai treaded water near Alex and asked, “Do you mind if I do a few more laps?”
Alex replied, “Go ahead, just keep rubbing in that you’re still fit and sexy while I sit here and try to catch my breath. Are we going to go for coffee after?”
“Yeah, sure,” Nikolai said. “That would be great.”
Alex leaned forward, and Nikolai’s cheeks burned. Alex murmured, “Would you be interested in having,” he cleared his throat, “coffee somewhere more private?”
Nikolai swallowed. “I am not sure that is the best idea.”
“But would you be interested?” Alex asked, a smile on his face.
“May I think about it while I finish swimming?” Nikolai asked with the heat still heavy in his cheeks.
“Sure,” Alex said. “And if you say no, I still want to have coffee with you.”
Nikolai smiled and began doing laps again, dodging the other people in the water as he did so. He moved quickly, feeling his arms slice through the water. Anxiety built in his limbs and tried to tense them, but he continued moving forward.
He could forgive Alex for turning his back on him. It certainly wasn’t Alex that outed him, and he knew they were just kids back then. Alex did what he could to defend his own image. And he still wanted to sleep with Alex. He always liked Alex. The man had filled out nicely and he considered it a victory that after all these years Alex was still attracted to him and other men, and the presence of a family meant he likely denied this attraction.
And it helped that he knew where he stood with Alex this time. It would be a lay and nothing more. Maybe it would give him closure. Maybe it would help to keep him from thinking about Guy. Or maybe he was just horny and needed to clear his mind.
So Nikolai pulled himself out of the water and sat beside Alex. Nikolai said, “A private coffee would be fine.”
Nikolai stood up and stretched, hoping to show off his sleek form. He could feel Alex’s brown eyes crawling across him. The excitement shot through him again.
The pair quickly changed with their eyes wandering along each other before leaving the building. Alex led Nikolai to a hotel and insisted that he pay for the room. Once they reached the room, Nikolai found himself thinking of Guy. The room was relatively cheap looking, but Alex clearly picked a decent enough room. The sheets were fresh. The carpet was clean. The desk contained a pen and a notepad advertising the hotel.
He lingered in the entranceway, playing with the zipper on the sweater that Guy gave him.
Alex turned to look at Nikolai, his broad shoulders softening. “Hey, listen,” Alex said. “I’m really sorry about what happened between us.”
“You really know how to put a man into the mood,” Nikolai said. “Nothing arouses me quite as much as childhood trauma.” He offered Alex a smile, hoping the topic would be dropped. Sure, he forgave him, but he certainly didn’t want to discuss it.
“No,” Alex said, approaching Nikolai. “I really mean it. I had a lot of fun with you. And I’ve always felt like shit for doing that to you.”
“Well, now you know how I felt,” Nikolai said, “but we were just stupid kids. Once I was out of school, I never blamed you. And I have no intention of holding it against you now.”
Alex smiled weakly at Nikolai. Nikolai’s smile faded. Alex rose to his tiptoes and tousled Nikolai’s hair. “Will you ever stop being such a stiff?” he asked.
“No,” Nikolai replied.
“Well, I’ve always liked you stiff,” Alex replied with a wink.
Nikolai exhaled as his childhood companion slowly unbuttoned his shirt, kissing the exposed skin. When he opened his eyes, the secret agent half-expected to be back in his dorm room from high school. He ran his fingers along Nikolai’s sleek body as he pulled off the blond’s shirt. Alex teased one of Nikolai’s nipples between his fingers, taking it into his mouth when it perked up in response. Nikolai exhaled and shifted his stance. His cock already throbbed in response as he remembered the groans Alex made when he fucked him in the pool.
He grabbed Alex’s shoulders and forced him onto the bed, receiving a laugh from his partner. Nikolai pulled off Alex’s shirt – several buttons flying off in the process – and kissed him hungrily, grinding his body against Alex’s. Alex kissed back roughly, teasing Nikolai’s tongue out of his mouth and into his own. He grabbed Nikolai’s ass, holding them together as he ground up against him.
Nikolai unbuttoned both of their pants and started to kiss Alex’s neck. Alex said, “Stand up. I want to see what you’ve grown into.”
Nikolai complied. He stepped out of his pants. He rubbed his cock through his boxer-briefs as Alex licked his lips. “Take them off,” Alex said.
With a small smile, Nikolai peeled himself out of his boxer briefs and stood for a moment. “God, you’re beautiful,” Alex said. “I just want to jerk off to you all day.”
“But what do I get out of that arrangement?” Nikolai purred, stepping closer. He rubbed the inside of Alex’s thighs and said, “I do not care for simply being objectified.”
“It’s been a while,” Alex said, “what with the wife and all. But I came prepared if you want to.”
Nikolai started pulling down Alex’s pants. “I do want to,” he murmured, “but only if you are comfortable with it.”
“I can’t wait for it,” Alex said, arching his body as Nikolai pulled off Alex’s pants.
The blond was surprised to find Alex hadn’t bothered to wear any underwear, and he gave Alex’s generous, cut cock a firm stroke. Nikolai kissed Alex’s stomach and squeezed his testicles. He moved upwards, grinding his cock up against Alex’s leg as he kissed and sucked his companion’s nipple. “Now where did you put the lube?” Nikolai asked.
Alex said, “It’s in my bag. I can get it.”
“No, no,” Nikolai said. “Allow me.” He grinned at Alex and kissed his nipple again.
Nikolai slipped away from Alex and watched his companion’s large form slide further up on the bed. A pang of nostalgia hit him as he remembered his Dutch lover, Lars. He went through Alex’s bag to find a tube of lubricant. He took out a condom as well for later. His mind drifted to how this encounter was so very temporary. Alex had a wife and family to return to, and Nikolai would curl back up on the bottom bunk of his childhood bed.
Why was he alone?
“You’re fading fast,” Alex said, his head tilted towards Nikolai.
“It will perk back up,” Nikolai replied. With an eyebrow raised, he continued, “First, we will work on getting you ready for me.”
“I’m not going to complain,” Alex replied with a grin.
Nikolai tossed the condom on the nightstand and squeezed the lubricant onto his palm. He spread it across his fingers of both hands and approached Alex again. His companion spread his legs, and Nikolai pulled Alex closer to him. He pressed a finger into Alex’s tight ass and listened to him exhale. Alex pressed his leg up against Nikolai’s cock, rubbing up against him as Nikolai slowly worked his finger into Alex.
“How many could you take before?” Nikolai asked with a smile.
“Three,” Alex said, bucking back against Nikolai’s finger.
Nikolai thought of all the times he and Alex just curled up together, exploring their bodies with only their lips and fingers. He thought of how special he felt, having a secret friend to share the pleasure with. “Then let’s try again,” Nikolai purred.
Nikolai pressed a second finger into Alex and rubbed up against his leg again. Nikolai kissed the inside of Alex’s thigh as he let his finger explore deeper. Alex squirmed and gasped. Nikolai licked his lips as he watched Alex’s lips part. Nikolai throbbed. He pressed the third finger into Alex’s ass, pumping them quickly in and out. Alex groaned.
Letting his fingers hit deeper and deeper, Nikolai found his breaths quickening as he watched Alex squirm. He watched Alex’s cock already beginning to spill, and he gave it a firm tug as he rubbed his cock against Alex’s thick leg. Alex gritted his teeth and gripped the sheets as Nikolai slowly spread his fingers apart. “Ready for me?” Nikolai murmured, curling one of his fingers inside of Alex.
With a moan, Alex came, spilling over his stomach and onto Nikolai’s hand. Gasping, Alex said, “Shit. I’m sorry.”
Nikolai tried not to frown and wiped his hand on the sheets. “I understand,” he said.
“It’s been a while,” Alex said, panting. “You’re so fucking hot, Nikolai. I’ll be good to go in a few minutes. Just keep going. Fuck me.”
The Russian felt relief that Alex still wanted to screw, and he smiled when Alex rubbed his leg against Nikolai’s cock with a grin. Nikolai hovered over him and kissed him. Alex tightly gripped Nikolai’s hair and pulled the secret agent down for a deeper kiss. Alex led Nikolai’s tongue back into his own mouth, sucking his tongue as he arched against Nikolai. He moved his leg quicker against Nikolai’s erection, and Nikolai could hardly stand the throbbing. He wanted to fuck Alex, and he wanted to hear his old friend ask for it again and again.
Opening one eye, Nikolai grasped the condom and ripped it open. He broke the kiss to put on the condom and he said, “Tell me again what you want me to do.”
Alex watched as Nikolai rubbed lube on his cock, bucking into his fist once he was completely covered. Alex said, “I want you to fuck me.”
“Why?” Nikolai asked.
Alex paused, as if thinking about the appropriate response. His eyes stayed on Nikolai’s cock that the Russian jerked off as he waited. “Because you’re fucking hot,” Alex said. “Because I want it from you.”
Nikolai leaned over Alex. Against his lips, he murmured, “Good answer.”
When Alex tried to kiss him, Nikolai pulled away. He spread Alex’s legs and pulled the man’s large body up towards his before rubbing his cock against his ass. Alex gritted his teeth as Nikolai pressed the head of his erection into his ass. Grabbing Alex’s legs, Nikolai slowly started pumping deeper into him. Alex’s breaths quickened, and his cock stiffened.
The Russian tried to tell himself to slow down, but his head grew foggy as his erection continued to throb inside of Alex. He pumped faster into Alex as his companion bucked back against him. He watched Alex’s thick hands grab the sheets again as he groaned. The sound sent chills through Nikolai, and he slowed down, fearing that he would finish too early.
“Wait,” Alex gasped. “Hold on.” Nikolai stopped, and Alex continued, “Let’s change positions. I want to feel you rubbing against me.”
Pulling out of Alex, Nikolai climbed onto the bed as Alex kneeled on the bed, propping himself up with his hands on the headboard. Nikolai kneeled behind him, and with his lips against Alex’s ear, he asked, “Are you ready now?”
“Yes,” Alex replied.
Nikolai ran his hands up the inside of Alex’s thighs, squeezing his testicles. “What are you ready for?” Nikolai asked.
Alex huffed with impatience. “I’m ready for you to slam into me and fuck me until neither of us can move because we’re so sore.”
Chuckling, Nikolai pressed back into Alex’s ass. He started slamming deep into Alex, relishing in every loud moan the man made. He ground up against Alex’s ass, keeping himself deep inside of him before pulling nearly out of him only to slam back into him and repeat the process. He bit down on Alex’s earlobe as he sped up the process.
“Oh God yes,” Alex gasped. “Harder.”
Nikolai grabbed Alex’s thighs to roughly pound into him, only lingering when he hit as deep as he could. Every time Alex groaned he repeated the process a little faster. He panted against Alex’s ear and felt his legs weaken. As his head filled with a happy fog, he thought of Lars’ and how they would curl up after orgasm, murmuring quietly to each other.
Alex’s orgasm pulled him out of the memory. He pumped into Alex a few more times before finishing off. Sorrow hit him as quickly as the exhaustion. He tossed out the condom and stood up from the bed. He went into the bathroom to wash up with a face cloth. Alex said from the other room, “Are you just cleaning up like you used to, or are you getting ready to leave?”
“The latter,” Nikolai said, looking at his frown in the mirror. He wondered if he was really so desperate that he’d fuck an asshole from his childhood. Didn’t he want something more than this? He sighed and leaned against the counter. His reflection gave him a hard stare.
“You’re not even going to hang around so we can catch up?” Alex asked.
Nikolai stepped out of the bathroom and hunted down his underwear. “I believe we did just catch up,” Nikolai said.
Alex frowned. “Are you seriously just going to fuck me and then leave?”
“Yes,” Nikolai replied. He stepped into his underwear.
“Is this some sort of sick revenge?” Alex asked.
Did he want some kind of sick revenge? Did he want proof that there was nothing wrong with him? He felt himself building walls between him and Alex. Nikolai shrugged. “I am not certain,” he replied and picked up his pants. “I just ended a rather important relationship and I wanted someone to clear my head with. I did not think you wanted more than sex.”
Alex climbed off the bed. “A conversation would be nice, at least. You don’t have to make me feel cheap.”
“I did not intend to make you feel that way,” Nikolai said. “I just want to be alone.”
“Fuck, you’re such an asshole,” Alex said. He followed Nikolai as the Russian put his shirt back on and carefully buttoned it up. Alex continued, “I mean, it’s clear with the way you fuck that you’re insecure – what with practically begging me to reassure you that I want you. But do you really think it’s all your good for?”
“No,” Nikolai replied. “I just offer my friendship carefully.”
“But you don’t fuck carefully,” Alex snapped. “Jesus Christ, you haven’t changed one bit. You’re absolutely intolerable unless you have your pants off. Do you still hate sucking cock?”
Nikolai didn’t reply as he put his sweater back on.
“You know you’d be the perfect fuck machine if you liked sucking cock because it’d shut you the fuck up,” Alex said.
Nikolai swivelled around, grasped Alex’s neck, and slammed him against the wall. The anger took over his body, and Nikolai hadn’t even noticed. With his blue eyes narrowing, he said, “I thought the issue was that I did not speak enough.”
Alex gasped and clawed at Nikolai’s hands. His brown eyes bulged, and the skin on his plump cheeks began to lose their colour. Nikolai released him when he realized the man couldn’t speak. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Alex yelled, his voice hoarse.
“I think I want a relationship,” Nikolai said.
“Well, I’m fucking married,” Alex replied.
Nikolai scoffed. “I would not care to be your partner. You have already proven yourself to be incredibly unreliable. And I want to be with someone I can trust in a relationship I know will last.” With a sneer he continued, “Thank you for the fuck.”
“Fuck you, Nikolai,” Alex snarled. “I just wanted to reconnect and have some fun-“
“I think I wanted to try to relive that part of my life with you, and I suspect you felt the same way when you saw me. Well, I do not want it, and I do not think you remember how things were between us correctly,” Nikolai said.
Alex’s eyes dropped to the floor, and Nikolai hoped he made the man think about why he wanted Nikolai again. He left the hotel room quickly and pressed his thumb against the elevator’s down button. He exhaled as exhaustion nipped at him again. And when he breathed in his sweater’s scent, he couldn’t smell Guy on it anymore.
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