Episode Twenty-Eight: The No Doubts Affair
Nikolai merely puttered around the house while Guy was gone. He tried to exercise, he tried to read, and he tried to watch TV, but he found his mind never seemed to focus. He wanted to solve his Guy problem, but he had no one to talk to about it. He couldn’t call Jackie without risk compromising his position, and he couldn’t exactly tell a random stranger his whole story.
And he wasn’t venturing out of the house into the cold anyway.
So Nikolai sat by his space heater and hugged himself, trying to suppress any shivers. He missed Jackie. He wasn’t sure how he thought about anything without her before. He tried to imagine what she’d say about Guy. She’d probably tell him he was stupid for even thinking about keeping Guy in his life – but he thought Jackie was stronger than him, she didn’t need anyone.
He did. And he wondered if that made him weak.
He thought of what Westermark said to him, and he found himself growing increasingly frustrated with Guy and with himself. As romantic as Guy had been, Nikolai still wished he could have come out on his own terms, and preferably with a person he could bring into work with their hand in his own. Instead they were cuffed and dragged to separate interrogation rooms and everyone would just know about it.
Nikolai liked Guy – he liked Guy a whole lot – but he definitely needed something stable. He wanted a relationship and someone he could count on. Part of him wanted Guy to be that and part of him was afraid of Guy being that. Could he still stay at A.B.E.L. and date an assassin? Certainly Guy Solo wasn’t a full-out villain. He killed the bad alongside the good. He killed the grey area characters and the villains not even A.B.E.L. could touch. And sometimes he unintentionally killed pedestrians that stumbled onto the scene. But being sloppy didn’t make you a villain, right?
And there was no question about staying with A.B.E.L. He wanted to go back. He feared going back, of course. Steele would make things difficult for him, as would Westermark (though in a different way), but he couldn’t quit just because of that fear. He tried not to think of how Benedict and Murdock were ultimately treated. He told himself his situation was different. Westermark was fine being gay and working at A.B.E.L., and he would be fine too.
Nikolai stretched out on the couch and watched Die Hard with a Vengeance with a bowl of popcorn resting on his stomach. He breathed in the smell and listened to the gunshots. He told himself Guy might not even come back, so he needed to stop worrying. He turned up the volume as the wind rattled the windows. He ate mechanically, shovelling handfuls of popcorn into his mouth, but carefully picked up the pieces he dropped (and examined them meticulously before popping them back into his mouth).
He almost didn’t hear the knock on the door when it came. He paused the film and stretched as he went to the door, trying to suppress any anxiety building in him. He felt his mouth go dry as his body tensed. He opened the door, and Guy Solo burst in with a gust of wind and snow.
“Jesus Christ Nikolai, it’s fucking freezing out there. Why is your hiding place in Bumfuck Nowhere?” Guy snapped as Nikolai closed the door behind him. Guy hugged himself and continued, “Why couldn’t you be hiding somewhere that doesn’t resemble the beginning of an ice age?”
Nikolai shrugged and watched Guy carefully. His steel blue eyes checked for love bites, hickeys, rope burns – anything that would suggest anyone else touched his assassin.
Guy kicked off his boots and stomped over to the thermostat, and he put the temperature up a few degrees. He tossed his satchel on the floor and walked back to hang up his coat as Nikolai checked the newly exposed skin. Brushing the snow out of his salt and pepper hair, Guy pulled Nikolai against him, and Nikolai winced as the assassin hugged him tightly. “You’re taking too long to hug me,” Guy muttered.
Nikolai smiled and nuzzled his damp hair, coiling his arms around Guy’s back. He felt his companion’s frown relax against his chest. He breathed the crisp air off of him.
“Do you ever take off your pyjamas?” Guy asked, releasing Nikolai.
“I already worked out,” Nikolai said. “I was just watching a movie before bed.”
“Die Hard?” Guy asked.
Nikolai held up three fingers.
Guy sighed. “Don’t you watch anything else?”
“I am not walking into town to go to the rental store, our satellite has not worked since it started snowing, and I do not understand how to work that internet thing you set up.”
Guy waggled his bushy eyebrows as he remarked, “I suppose we’ll just have to entertain ourselves then.”
“Mr. Willis and Mr. Jackson entertain me just fine,” Nikolai responded, though let a smile sneak into the corners of his mouth.
Guy bent over to open his satchel. He said, “I got handcuffs,” as he pulled them out of his bag.
Nikolai frowned. “Where did you get handcuffs?” He felt anger beginning to knot inside of him. He curled his socked toes.
“It’s a funny story,” Guy said.
“Did you fuck someone?” Nikolai snarled.
“What?” Guy asked. “No.”
“Did you purchase them?”
Guy hesitated. “Well, no.”
Nikolai’s eyes narrowed. He clenched his fists, and he spoke very slowly as he asked, “Where did you get them?”
Guy, on the other hand, spoke quickly and in one breath: “I blew up a building with me still in it and then someone started to fight me so I killed them and then passed out until a woman fireman saved me and then I tried to leave but a paramedic handcuffed me to a gurney but I just picked the lock and decided to keep the handcuffs as a fun souvenir.”
“Did you screw the paramedic?”
“Did you screw the woman fireman?”
“No,” Guy said.
Nikolai decided not to ask if he wanted to. Certainly the man was allowed to have his own thoughts, especially since he had his own.
Guy softened. He set down the handcuffs and approached Nikolai slowly. “Listen,” Guy said, “I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to try this. I know you have no reason to trust me, but-” his voice trailed off, his eyes darting away from Nikolai in thought. He continued, “But you’re going to have to if you want to make this work too.”
“Do you want this to work?” Guy asked.
Folding his arms across his chest, the blond nodded. He bit his bottom lip.
“What do I do in two months when I go back to A.B.E.L.?”
“You’re really going to go back?”
“I love it there,” Nikolai said, “and I have nothing else.”
He wanted Guy to say he had him. But Guy unfolded Nikolai’s arms and nuzzled under his chin. He said, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
Nikolai loosely wrapped his arms around Guy’s waist. He said, “You really want this to work, don’t you?”
Guy stiffened in Nikolai’s grasp, but nodded. He raised his eyes to Nikolai and firmly said, “I really want to try.”
“Then I will try,” Nikolai said.
Nikolai tilted Guy’s chin upwards and hunched over slightly to kiss the assassin on the lips. He breathed Guy in, feeling his soft beard brush against his own scruff. Wrapping one arm around Nikolai’s neck and twisting the fingers from his other hand through the blond’s hair, Guy kissed Nikolai deeper, pressing his tongue between Nikolai’s lips and his leg against Nikolai’s groin.
Pulling slightly away from Guy’s, lips Nikolai murmured, “Why do you insist on making everything so sexual?”
Guy purred, “I suppose you just bring out the best in me, Mr. Wetsuit.”
Guy pulled Nikolai’s head down to kiss him again, and Nikolai succumbed. Nikolai pushed Guy against the wall, grinding his body against Guy’s as he kissed him deeper. He throbbed as Guy’s tongue flicked against his teeth. Guy’s body curved against his own, and Nikolai ran his hand down his companion’s back, groping his ass once he reached it.
Against Nikolai’s lips, Guy asked, “Do you have anything handy?”
Nikolai released Guy and moved into the living room. He grabbed lube from the coffee table and caught Guy smirking at him with a wrapped condom in his hand. With the lube in hand, Nikolai walked back up to Guy, feeling the assassin’s hands rub his chest as he approached. “Shall we undress each other?” Guy asked.
Nikolai forced Guy against the wall as he kissed him again, fondling Guy’s erection through his jeans. Guy traced his fingers up Nikolai’s shirt and murmured, “I suppose we shouldn’t waste time with that.”
Nikolai felt Guy’s fingers tease one of his nipples. Nikolai smirked as he said, “That sounds like an excellent assumption.”
“I’m still a little stiff,” Guy said, “so be gentle.”
“How gentle?” Nikolai asked, gripping Guy’s hips to turn him around. He pressed his lips against Guy’s ear and said, “Not too gentle, I hope?”
Rising onto his tiptoes, Guy pressed back against Nikolai to grind his ass against his groin. “Just don’t fuck me in two, okay?”
Nikolai pulled Guy’s pants down past his waist as he kissed his neck. He put lubricant on one hand, and then he rubbed his hands together. Guy tilted his head to kiss Nikolai again. Nikolai slipped his hand down the back of Guy’s boxers, pressing a finger into his ass as he slipped his tongue between Guy’s lips. Nikolai nuzzled Guy’s beard and asked, “How many pieces would you prefer I fuck you into?”
Guy laughed and let out a purr as Nikolai’s other hand began gently jerking his erection. “Let’s just work on keeping me in one piece,” Guy said.
Nikolai pumped his finger in and out of Guy faster, feeling Guy twitch against him in response. He nibbled on Guy’s ear. “I suppose I am the only one trying to do that,” Nikolai responded.
Guy relaxed against Nikolai’s grip, coiling one arm around Nikolai’s neck to try to keep their lips joined. His other hand pressed against the wall to keep himself steady. Nikolai slipped another finger into Guy’s ass, jerking him off rougher. He shivered as Guy gasped against his lips. Nikolai watched Guy’s eyes flutter shut, and he kissed the assassin’s neck as he pumped his fingers into Guy faster, feeling him tighten around his fingers.
Nikolai stopped jerking Guy off, feeling himself throbbing uncomfortably in his pyjama bottoms. The blond lowered his bottoms enough to free his erection, and he pried the condom out of Guy’s hand. After sliding the condom onto his erection, he slathered it with lubricant. A shiver ran through him as Guy panted against him, and Guy bucked his back against Nikolai’s fingers.
Pulling his fingers out of Guy, Nikolai gently pressed his erection into Guy’s ass. Guy clenched his teeth as Nikolai’s hands crept down to his pelvis, pulling Guy’s body against his own. Nikolai rubbed Guy’s pelvis with one hand, teasing his shaft with his fingertips while let the other hand creep up Guy’s shirt. He kept his thrusts slow, waiting for Guy to relax around him before pressing deeper. Guy let out a groan and bucked back against Nikolai, trying to speed up the blond’s weak rhythm.
Nikolai kissed Guy’s neck and murmured, “You are not acting like someone who wants it gentle.” He knitted his fingers into Guy’s chest hair, rubbing the nipple he found there.
Nikolai felt Guy shiver against him, and he pressed back against Nikolai, forcing the agent deeper into him. Through grit teeth, Guy replied, “Maybe our definitions of gentle are different.”
With a chuckle, Nikolai nuzzled into Guy’s hair. “I shall follow your lead then.”
Guy tensed as Nikolai gripped his hips, and Guy pressed his hands against the wall, bracing himself as Nikolai started to pump into him faster. Nikolai caught Guy wince as he thrusted deeper into him, and he nibbled on Guy’s ear, feeling the assassin tighten around his erection. “Jesus God,” Guy gasped.
Nikolai slowed down and felt his legs press up against Guy’s. He gripped Guy’s cock, jerking him off at the base of his erection in time with his thrusts. He heard himself panting as sweat made his shirt cling to his back. He throbbed against Guy, his body urging him to go faster, but he tried to stay slow. Guy let out a groan, and Nikolai nuzzled Guy until he could press his mouth against the assassin’s.
Guy’s fingers twisted into his hair, and Nikolai felt his pelvis brushing up against Guy’s ass. “Just a bit more,” Guy gasped against his lips. “Fuck.”
Nikolai heard himself groan as Guy grinded up against him, forcing the agent as deep as he could go. He jerked Guy off harder as he pumped faster in and out of him. He felt himself peaking, and he closed his eyes as he felt Guy’s breath against him. “Oh fuck,” Guy moaned, digging his nails into Nikolai’s scalp.
Nikolai kissed Guy again to keep himself from revealing his current condition. He slowed down his thrusts, jerking Guy off roughly in the hopes of forcing Guy to finish before him. But the assassin bucked back against him, sending a shiver through Nikolai. He pulled the Russian words from Nikolai’s mouth with a slow kiss and a murmur: “Nikolai.”
With a groan, Nikolai heard his soft and hurried voice in his mother tongue pour out . He started to finish inside of Guy, feeling the assassin’s warm semen start to linger on his fingertips. He pumped deep and slow into Guy as he finished, and Guy moaned against his lips as he came onto the wall.
Nikolai felt his legs weaken, and he coiled his arms around Guy’s waist to keep himself propped up as he relaxed against the assassin. He buried his face against Guy’s neck, and Guy patted his arm. “You’re a lot of fun, Mr. Wetsuit.”
He smiled against Guy, and he sighed cheerfully. No doubt nipped at him. He felt light and confident. He kissed Guy’s neck and softly replied, “You are not so bad yourself.”
Guy pulled up Nikolai’s pants for him, gently putting his equipment away as he did so, and after he tossed aside the condom, he did the same for himself. He maneuvered himself to smother his face with Nikolai’s chest, and then he tried to reposition the secret agent’s long limbs to better support him. He said, “As much as I’m enjoying holding you up when you feel like a sack of bricks, I’m a little beat. Are you okay to hit the hay?”
“With you, you mean?”
Guy laughed. “Of course with you.”
“I will just turn off the television,” Nikolai said.
“I guess you’ll want me to clean up a bit,” Guy said, peeling off his shirt and checking Nikolai’s eyes to see if he leered.
Nikolai smiled softly, running his fingers through Guy’s thick chest hair. “I can clean up,” he murmured. “Just change and relax. I will meet you in mere moments.”
Guy nuzzled Nikolai, and he kissed him before he said, “I can’t wait, Mr. Wetsuit.”